Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
