okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
