I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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