Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
