Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Randomize