people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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