You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
