so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
