He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize