found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
from now on my penis is your penis
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
