im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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