return my video game
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
