bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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