This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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