So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
