i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
