let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
