Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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