I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
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