let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
