so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
