Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Randomize
