you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He keeps bees of course he's weird
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
