I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
