It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
