guys are only as good as the porn they watch
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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