Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
