I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
