My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
