I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
last night I used snow as a chaser
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