I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
