Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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