I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Dear god my vagina.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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