He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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