i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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