So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
