I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize