I have demons in me.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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