apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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