Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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