My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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