Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize