The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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