Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
