If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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