Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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