scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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