Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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