these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
