I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
Randomize
