i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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