the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize