summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
