god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
