Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
