I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
