billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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