I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
