i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
