So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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