No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize