Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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