Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
