I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
