he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
