nut hugger
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
