we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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