Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
