so that wasnt chicken after all
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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