Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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