She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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