Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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