omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
you win again, gameday.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
