how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
