Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Randomize
