Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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