We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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