I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
