Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
