; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
