let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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