During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he fucked my hip out of place.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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